When I was in second grade, I used to brag to my classmates that I had a cousin that was 25. It was a source of pride for me...that someone I knew was that old without being too old. I saw it at the peak of the mountain...the prime of life. I remember once, when I was still a little kid, reading an obituary of a young man who had died at the age of 23 and being sad...not so much because he had died but because he had died before he was 25.
Since then, the age of 25 has been elevated to mythical levels in the minds of my friends and me. My friend Brent and I kept a running list of things we were going to do when we were 25...things we would be too young for before we were 25, too old for after. 25 just seemed like the perfect age for it all. I am 25 now and must say that it is everything I hoped it would be. Below is some of our list with more to come when I find where I put the folder with more lists. Please feel free to add any suggestions in the comments.
Things I am going to do when I am 25:
Kill a bear
Kill a man
Leave my religion
Return to my religion
Steal something from my parents
Grow a ponytail
Become an alcoholic
Overcome alcoholism
Kiss with my eyes open
Get someone fired for something I did.
Spend all night clinging to a keg in the middle of Lake Tahoe
Become a cat lady
Eat dessert before and after dinner
Cut a finger off with a miter saw, put it in a glass of milk, and have the doctor sew it back on
Make a baby on purpose
Steal a kid's trumpet and bash it to pieces in my back yard
Wake up in a pool of blood
Wake up in a pool of hot chocolate
Wake up in a tub of ice with a note telling me I'’m missing my kidneys
Donate both of my kidneys. For money
Visit the black market
Participate in "human trafficking"
Break something and have to pay for it
Sell myself for money
Get bitten by a werewolf
Pretend to be a werewolf and bite people
Ride a unicorn
Ride a dolphin
Successfully create a dolphicorn...a cross of a Unicorn and Dolphin
Order a Russian mail-order bride
Evade my taxes
Meet and possibly fight Joey Buttafuoco
Build a full body chainmail suit and wear it into battle
Build a Pope effigy
Donate someone'’s hair to charity
Watch for falling (or pretty) rocks
Spend a year going to bed whenever I feel like it
Go to war with Iraq
Go to war with somewhere in the Netherlands
Grow a beard
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